Friday, 28 September 2012

Deep breathing.

Lat night I opened a bottle of very chilled champagne, it's been in there a long time, and the Husband popped to the takeaway with a Chinese feast (chicken and cashew nuts for me).

We were toasting the fact that I saw my consultant and he's relaxed about my lung issues and they should clear themselves up over the next few months.  I won't be running any (half) marathons for a bit but I can start on that road.  It's such a huge relief.  You really don't understand how stressed out i've been about this over the last few days.  The worst case scenario in this case was pulmonary fibrosis which can be progressive and just horrid.  But it's not that so lets move on.  I'm still out of puff at the top of a staircase but that should pass.

Given the above, it wasn't the best move of the consultant to open the consultation with the words that 'the results of your lung tests were unimpressive".  Having picked the husband up off the floor, he explained that this was good news.  Further hyperventilation followed when I mentioned a hard vein on my arm and he said casually, "that's just a blood clot".  Again, it's the ok type that isn't going to give me a heart attack.

So, in summary, it's all good and I just have to have regular check ups from now on.

In 'hairwatch' I woke up with baby bed hair today with the light fluff skewed upwards on the side i'd been sleeping.  I remember it looks very sweet on my little nephew but i'm not sure that i'm really rocking the look.  Facial hair is going even crazier though.  I won't have any trouble getting into XXL anymore.


Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Sea view vs. Tree view

So much to tell since my last blog that I've had to write down a list of headings so that I don't forget to update on everything.

I returned yesterday from a few days staying with friends in Mallorca where I can honestly say I had the most positive few days that i've had throughout this entire period.  I was able to forget about treatments and prognoses and just be with friends. I also heard just before leaving that a friend who was also in treatment with chemo had received the all clear so it's been a good week for us survivors. Over the last month or so a lot of you will know that i've been a little withdrawn and a lot of chats/coffees that I arranged have been rescheduled with a non-commital "i'll be in touch when I feel a little better".  Well today I woke up with a much better outlook so look out for your diary invites.  

I was having such a relaxing time, the Husband and I spend the last few days in the hills in a place overlooking Palma, that I wanted to extend the trip a little.  But a consultant's appointment looms on Thursday where we have to discuss my lungs.  The day before I went away I had a lung function test which involved a guy telling me to blow, blow, blooooooow a lot and then ended with a slightly concerned look and a comment that he'd send the results up to my consultant so we could discuss them.  We'll see what that's all about in a couple of days.  In the meantime, I still have to take it easy when walking up stairs and I'm noticing that I take a lot of gulping breaths every now and then.  Something to do with oxygen transfer apparently.

In other news my hair re-growth is coming along amazingly with comments throughout the last week on a daily basis that it looked like it had grown overnight.  It's still quite downy but there is now a hairline and it's darkening a little.  In addition, the downy hair on my face has now all gone and i'm back to stubble.  But here's the thing.  It's a lot darker and thicker than it ever used to be and, in a strange ironic twist, I think that this year's 'Movember' is going to actually be a success!!  Those of you who remember my tragic attempt last year will find that rather funny.  So it seems I needed a dose of what I was raising money to support in order to try again this year.  I was so embarrassed last year that I vowed i'd never try again.  The charity gods obviously didn't like that pronouncement!

My resumed positivity has meant work has resumed on the secret project and i'm also thinking about a little information booklet or something that tells people about what to expect if they have to go through the same as me.  There is so much information that would have made things easier if i'd known them in advance.  I know everyone will have different experiences but it's the little things like "don't scratch when having bleomycin" that I found important.  If you scratch, the chemicals can gather in the area and you can get brown scars all over your skin.

One other comment to add about the idyllic hotel I mentioned earlier though...  When you book a sea view and get a tree view, you don't expect the ancient guy at reception to tell you "I don't know why they still describe it like that, twenty years ago it was a sea view..."  TripAdvisor here we come....

Thursday, 6 September 2012

His name was Ross and he wore Thom Browne.

I went to see my consultant today, after having my 'end of term' scan on Tuesday, expecting him to tell me that i'd have to wait a few more days until we had the results.  

How wrong was I?  There he was with a screen full of grainy images and a report commenting on the state of my insides.  The grainy images didn't mean anything to me even when he tried to point out that that grey thing was that and that white thing was that.  I think they make it up as they go along..
But the long and the short of it is that the 8mm tumour which was on a lymph node in my stomach is gone.  Just to clarify.  That means the cancer is gone!

Do a little dance.

You can't even see the lymph node anymore either apparently.  So what he was trying to show me god only knows.

And 8mm.. what is that about?  Everyone else seems to have tumours the size of melons and I get 8mm. Not even a grape.  Well, actually, maybe the size of the grapes that used to grow at mum and dad's by the garage.  Let's just say there was never a MacDonald vintage.

So.  I'm now in 'recovery'.  I listed all the funny feelings i'd been having (leaving out the one I experienced when a very handsome, well dressed man sat at the table next to me in Village East on Tuesday) and he told me they were all to be expected.  I may never get full feeling back in the tips of my fingers and am probably going to have to wear gloves a lot more often in Winter because the nerves in my hands are a little damaged from the chemo.  Other than that everything else should sort itself out over the next few months.

I'm going to spend the next few days at the Paralympics marvelling at people who have overcome so much more than me and then i'll start getting restless again i'm sure.

Ooooh ooh, and for those wondering about the hair situation.  Still bald as a coot, as i'm sure Jim Robinson once said in neighbours, but I do have bum fluff on my top lip and chin.  It's like being a teenager all over again.

Watch this space for the next exciting update on my hair growth...