The English patient

I've been out of hospital for a week now and it all seems to have gone very quickly and i've done rather a lot.  This is making me think about the treatment, side effects, what i've been told and the reality of it all.

To be honest, I'm not feeling any worse at the moment than if I had a bit of a cold.  But I know that's not the case from my specialist and sister.  My ickle sis has nearly finished her medical degree and is very clever.  Not as clever as me obviously but that's the curse of being the little sis isn't it?  

As i've mentioned, because I have hardly any white blood cells in my system the everyday bugs that roam my system are poised to attack at any minute and, if they do, I can't fight it without more antibiotics and probably having to go back into hospital early.   If it progresses and gets worse then you're talking blood infections and transfusions, so you can see what the risks of just a little illness are.

Problem with that is i'm trying to carry on as normal because that's how I'm feeling.  It's probably an acceptance thing, in that the more I think I might be ill the more i'll react to it.  It's also probably an 'English' thing.  You know how it is, 'let's not make a fuss unless we need to'.  The problem with the English attitude is that it could do me a lot of harm.  

It probably sounds odd but I also feel a little guilty just sitting around when there must be people in treatment that aren't able to do anything and wish they could.  In a couple of weeks I may also be regretting not doing anything when I myself am unable to if the treatment side effects increase.

So what do I do?  Contain myself in the apartment with books and antiques shows, or make the most of the this and head out for a stroll?  That all sounds rather dramatic for just a stroll doesn't it?

The answer will probably lie in the husband (ps. i'm going to be capitalising him from now on as I suppose he has been become pretty defined) and anyway, Olivier's Henry V has just appeared on TV so a decision has been made for me for a few hours.  Once more unto the breach dear friends... 

Apologies Mr Boyce.